


The tears against my cheek

by Cyn_Writes



Category: Marvel
Genre: Peter Parker Dies, Peter misses Tony, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, This is really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25501459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyn_Writes/pseuds/Cyn_Writes
Summary: “Is there any way I will survive if I jump?” “No, Peter. Please don’t do it. Please.” “Will it hurt?” I ignore her pleading. “Yes, Peter. It will hurt more than being dusted away. So don’t do it.” I close my eyes and breath in the air. Just a lot of pain at one moment, then no more. No more crying at night about Tony. No more not being able to tell Flash the truth as he shoves me around. No more nights alone while May is at work. No more lying to her. No more nothing. Despite everything, I smile.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	1. Please. Just let me do this.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: SUICIDE 
> 
> So um im sorry. I really am.

You know when you just finished crying and your face is sticky? The dry tears make it stiff. And then you start crying again. A cold feeling enters your throat. Your stomach hurts and you feel like you just might throw up. And then the wind. It makes it feel like your tears are being frozen to your face. Especially when you are up 100 stories high, like me. “Karen,” I whisper while I stare down at the grass below the ledge. “Is there any way I will survive if I jump?” “No, Peter. Please don’t do it. Please.” “Will it hurt?” I ignore her pleading. “Yes, Peter. It will hurt more than being dusted away. So don’t do it.” I close my eyes and breath in the air. Just a lot of pain at one moment, then no more. No more crying at night about Tony. No more not being able to tell Flash the truth as he shoves me around. No more nights alone while May is at work. No more lying to her. No more nothing. Despite everything, I smile. I smile for the first time since Mr Stark died. “What about MJ and Ned?” Karen’s voice fills my ears. Even though she’s an AI, she sounds like she’s crying. “They don’t want a depressed friend. “What about May?” “She has Happy. Besides. I just remind her of Ben and my parents.” “What about Pepper?” “I just remind her of Tony.” There is no way I’m going home. Every time I do this, I get past one of those questions. Today I need to realize nobody needs me. “What about the world? What about Spider-man?” “I’m not big. They have other Avengers.” “But who will look out for the little guy, Peter?” Her voice comes out as a sob. “They don’t need me. They will be fine. Besides. You’re just AI. You don’t have real emotions.” I reassure her. Or do I reassure myself? “I do have emotions. You know why? Because Tony made me. Tony made me to protect you. So if you jump, then Tony will have failed.” She tries to explain. But I don’t care. Because if Mr Stark really cared, he would still be here. “He’s already failed. He failed when he chose me.” “Are you sure, Peter? Because you’re getting a call from MJ. I'm going to answer it.” “Don’t. Please.” I start begging. Wow. The tables have turned. “Peter! Where the hell are you?” I open my mouth but Karen talks before I get the chance to. “He’s on a building. He’s going to jump. Please stop him, MJ.” “Peter! Please! Get down!” MJ starts sobbing. I’ve never heard her cry before. “No. The only way I’m coming down is by jumping.” “Wanda is on her way, MJ.” Karen speaks again. Shit. I’m running out of time. “I’m so awful. I’m putting this on you. You should hang up now. I’m going to do it.” “Peter! I swear to God. Please!” Here come the tears again. My chest shudders with my breath. “I’m calling Ned.” MJ says again. “Peter! Get down! Please! We can watch all the Star Wars movies! Just get down here! We can do whatever you want!” Ned starts screaming. “Please! Don’t do this!” “Shut up.” I mutter. It must have been too quiet for them to hear, though. “Peter. Dude. Come down. Please! I’ll do anything!” He’s begging now. “Shut up. Just SHUT UP!” I scream. They do. Finally. “I’m doing this! Nobody can stop me! Please!” I fall against the wall of the building. “Please don’t stop me. I need to see him again. Both of them. All of them. I need to tell them how much I missed them. I need to tell Mr Stark that I thought of him as a dad. I need to tell Uncle Ben that I’m sorry. I need to tell my parents about how much I miss them. I need to tell Nat that she’s an amazing badass. I need to tell Pietro that Wanda misses him! I need to tell them!” I start gasping for air. “Peter. They know.” MJ whispers. “Please. Just let me do this.” A car pulls up underneath me and the fucking Avengers get out. “Go away!” I scream down to them. Wanda lifts up her hands. “Tony.”


	2. Is this what it feels like to fly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a stupid chapter name. Welp.

Is this what it feels like to fly? Looking at the skyline of New York City? Feeling the wind wiping at your face? It’s really peaceful. I wish I was bitten by a Bridge Spider. The kind with wings. Well, it would be peaceful. Except for the screaming. The screaming of MJ, Ned, Karen, Wanda, everyone. There’s still a long way down. “This is amazing. I wish I could fly.” I say. “Peter! I love you! We all do!” MJ sobs. “Dammit, Peter! There is no way you can stop yourself now.” Ned shouts. “Can you be quiet? Please? I’ve saved the world so many times. The one time I want to do something for myself, everyone wants to stop me.” I hiss at them. “Karen, thank you for being nice to me.” “Of course, Peter,” Karen says to me. Her voice is filled with sadness. “I’m going to take off my mask. I’ll still be holding it though. Goodbye.” “PETER!” Somebody’s voice screams. I can’t tell who it was because my mask is now in my hand. This feels even better now that my mask is off. A smile spreads across my face. And it will never go away. Especially Mr Stark is here. He may be yelling at me, but at least he’s here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT HOW THIS MADE YOU FEEL


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